Inner Turmoil

I'm torn between two ideas. The first being that you're too good to be true and that I shouldn't let you go. The second being that you're too good to be true and that's wrong. I usually find little things to nit pick at guys which leads to me being continuously single. I'm trying not to do that with you, but I'm finding it hard. Is there such thing as somebody being too nice? I never thought that could be true, but with you I feel like it is. You're too nice and it's annoying me. I honestly don't know why. I know that you are unlike any guy that I have ever dated, and yet I'm turned on and turned off by it at the same time. I'm trying to give you the benefit of the doubt because I know that I nit pick, and I don't want to be single forever. I do want a relationship. So I honestly need to take a chill pill and relax. I just don't know how to shut my brain off and stop thinking.


I wrote this above statement the other day, and after days of just living in the moment I realize you may not be too good to be true. You may just be exactly who I've been looking for. Someone to pull me out of this rut that I've been in, stuck in the past, rethinking regrets. I want to live in the present. In the here and now and right now the present is you.
I know I am closed off from my emotions, and that's because with each day and year and stupid guy I have put up wall after wall to protect myself from heartache. You said that you believe that I am a deep person and I said that I'm like an onion, I have many layers (yes, I totally quoted Shrek). If you are willing to peel off my layers one by one and break down my walls, I want to see where this adventure leads us.

Back to Life

I was craving attention
In the worst kind of way.
All alone I felt
For I had moved away,
From my friends and family
Of whom I held so dear.
Embarking on a new journey
Was a longtime goal and fear.
Making new friends would be easy, I thought.
Not trying to replace the old,
But new hang outs, new people were needed
To welcome me here.
To rid myself of my past.
Look forward to the future.
But friends were hard to come by
In this small town.
What acquaintances I had
Left me high and dry.
Missing my friends from the north
I yearned for companionship.
I had none,
And then there was you.
You walked into my life out of the blue.
I didn't know where you came from
I was lost and confused.
I didn't think you were real.
Happiness was back.
You lit up my world.
This was how life was supposed to be.
No questions
No games
Just you and I
Together laughing and holding hands.
It all looks so easy.
I've waited a lifetime for you.
Felt like eternity.
When I was down on my luck
About had enough
You stepped right in
You lifted me up.
You showed me how lucky I am :)

Fairytales are Real

The saying goes that "you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince." Well, I think I've found him. I've definitely kissed a lot of frogs, for sure. This guy is different though. I've only known him for a short time but I do feel the connection, happiness and bliss that leads up to the L word. I don't want to get my hopes up, but I'm beginning to see the silver lining and that all my past mistakes, betrayals and hardships are at an end and its finally time for my Happily Ever After.

Butterflies all over
What is this feeling taking over?
I've lost control of my emotions.
I don't think I've ever felt this way.
My world's flipped upside down.
Are you the prince I've been waiting for?
The one to take me far away
To a world I have only imagined.
A world of knights in shining armor
Saving princesses locked away in towers,
Fairy godmothers and animals who talk.
I've always known it was make believe
But dreamed a dream that one day
I too would have my happily ever after
With a prince fit just for me.
Is it really real?
Or a little girls fairytale?

Potential

I always do this, I always say I'm going to blog but never do. But I had an enlightening moment this weekend and decided that, "Yes, I am going to blog and I'm going to do it every day or every other day or whenever the feeling arises. Maybe I'll blog twice a day!" But anyways, I will keep my promise or you can stick a needle in my eye as the saying goes.
This weekend was beyond perfect. I recently moved to Jacksonville, Florida and am living with my parents and commuting an hour to and from work, which right now is not bad but not ideal either. Eventually I would like to get a place on the beach, but that won't be for another year at least because I need to SAVE SAVE SAVE!!!
So right now I'm kind of lacking on the friend front. All my friends are in Massachusetts and I've been feeling a little down in the dumps. A co-worker of mine asked me what kind of guys I was interested in - first let me tell you I have been single for about 5 years, so my love life is really lagging behind LOL - and I told her that I would like an attractive man who is nice, respectful and can make me laugh. Well, she set me up with a friend of hers whose single and only a couple years older than me. She also sent me pictures and so far so good ;). Then she asked if she could give him my number and I figured what did I have to lose so I told her yes. BEST DECISION EVER!!!
I've been hanging out with him since Thursday. He took me out to dinner and the beach. Pays me compliments. Treats me well. I don't want to get my hopes up, but I definitely had the best weekend and hope it continues. I'm not used to this kind of chivalry, because let's face it, I really thought chivalry was dead. I also have become really independent, so him paying for really expensive meals is making me a little apprehensive, but I deserve that kind of treatment and that's what he wants to do. I'm not some superficial shallow girl that is looking for a guy with money to take care of her, granted it would be nice to never have to work and be a housewife and take care of the kids, maybe write on the side, but it's not something that's important to me. What's important is an honest relationship built on love and if that's what this turns into I owe my coworker a HUGE thank you. This guy definitely has potential ;).

Thanksgiving Home Cooking

I'm becoming such a homebody these days (granted I still go out to bars and party with my friends). I crochet and am becoming a really good cook - well I think I am anyways LOL. All I need to do better is cleaning and I'll make my dog a really good housewife - mainly because I'm as single as they come and sometimes I'm ok with that :).
So for Thanksgiving, considering I'll be at work, my coworkers and I are going to celebrate together. Each of us will be bringing a dish in to share with everyone. For me, Thanksgiving means Portuguese stuffing, ham, and chourico and potatoes. My vavo used to make so much food and I can just taste it just thinking about it, but since she passed away, it was hard for my family to make all the yummy things she used to make because my vavo didn't use any cookbooks or recipes. It was always a pinch of this and a pinch of that. So for the past few years we've finagled the dishes she used to make and with each year it gets better and better.
I have given myself the task of making chourico and potatoes because I'm a big potato fan LOL. The only thing we knew involved in this dish was goya, chourico, potatoes, beer, tomato paste and crushed red pepper. The first year I made it I used what we knew my vavo to use and I asked my uncle's mother for her recipe and combined the two. I thought it was pretty good and I've been using that ever since, until today.  I didn't have any beer in my house so I used wine and no tomato paste - because the tomato paste was only used for color anyway and it always looked so messy. Using the wine I think worked out 10 times better than when I used the beer...I'm definitely using wine every year now because it tastes almost exactly like how my vavo used to make it - but of course it will never taste exactly like vavo's but it's still wicked delicious.

Here's the recipe if any of you want to try it out :)

preheat oven to 350degrees
cut up enough potatoes to fill the bottom of the roasting pan.
cut four chourico links and place on top of potatoes.
chop either a whole onion or a half an onion (depends on your own taste, I used a half onion this time around) and 3 garlic cloves (again to your own preference) and spread on top.
mix 6 packets of goya with 12 ozs of white wine (I used sauvignon blanc this time and I used 12 ozs because that's what a can of beer is...so I just switched it up) and pour over everything.
use wet crushed red pepper and pour a couple spoonfuls over everything.
sprinkle crushed red pepper flakes over everything.
bake for about an hour (my stove might be breaking because what usually took an hr took about 2 hrs for the potatoes to cook fully, so just keep checking)
ENJOY!!! :) Also, feel free to dip bread in the sauce...tastes wicked good!!!

Crochet Addict

So for the past month I've been getting into crocheting. Hello, my name is Veronica, I'm 27 years old and I have a crochet addiction :). I don't know what made me decide to pick up my vavo's yarn and start crocheting, but it just sort of happened. When I was a child, my vavo tried teaching me how to crochet but she always said I was holding the needle too tightly, and when I tried making more than one row it ended up crooked. But thanks to pinterest and youtube...I've learned a lot and am so excited to make the cutest hats, scarves and slippers imaginable!!! The only problem is, I wish I had this much enthusiasm while my vavo was still alive so we could crochet together while watching portuguese soap operas - now that would be AWESOME!

So far, I've only made two things. First was this headwarmer w/ flower. Now, when I was a kid I could never make a straight line...a blanket I tried to make for my newborn cousin turned into a triangle and I just gave up. So for a flower to be the first thing I learn how to make is absolutely hilarious to me. But anywho, I used a magic circle and with the help of the Daisy Cottage I created my first flower, and attached it to my black headpiece, and voila! My ears will be warm all winter, and they will be stylish to boot! :)

 

Second thing I made was this adorable owl hat found on the Daisy Cottage again. At first, I found it hard to make a hat big enough for my friends' baby (because I have never made a hat before) but after numerous tries I finally created this masterpiece. Can't wait for baby Hudson to wear it, and honestly can't wait to make more creations. I'm going to stick to the basics for a little while, because Christmas is coming up so I'm going to making most of my family scarves and maybe some beanie hats. But I'm seriously hooked. Everytime I go to a store like Walmart or Michaels, I end up with more yarn - I really don't need any more yarn considering I have a small bins worth of yarn, but its my obsession along with books - though I do have a Nook, but that's another story :).