Year of New Beginnings

This year has been an interesting year so far. I moved from Massachusetts to Florida - away from all of my friends to move closer to my parents. Left everything behind and no job lined up, though I did get a job right after I moved which was really lucky. This year also marked my 10 yr reunion from high school - gee does time really fly. So I went back up north to see old friends who I missed dearly. There I was sprung the question "would you be my bridesmaid" by one of my best friends! It was so unexpected that I was speechless - which usually doesn't happen. Her wedding is next year, so I planned on going back home a few times next year for: 1. dress fitting 2. bachelorette 3. wedding!!! If that wasn't enough to look forward to, the other day my friends face-timed me from dinner to tell me some even more exciting news ........ my best friend is PREGNANT!!! I was beyond ecstatic!! I'm already thinking of crochet crafts and clothes to buy and its not even my baby! Next year is going to be a great year, and even though I'm not five minutes down the road anymore, I am truly blessed to have friends that make me feel like I never left and keep me up-to date on new and exciting happenings! Without their support, friendship, love and encouragement I would never have had the guts to move.

Though miles may lie between us we are never far apart, for friendship doesn't count miles its measured by the heart. <3

Breaking Up is Hard

Everyone's gone through it. I've been through it plenty. But it still hurts every time. This agonizing feeling of loneliness and heartbreak - I can't eat - My throat and eyes hurt from crying and I'm always feeling an onset of tears that I try to push back into the deepest part of me.

Everything happens for a reason is seriously my motto because it does. There's always a reason why you meet that person and they break your heart - Is there a life lesson involved? Possibly, probably, but who knows? Right now I can barely think straight let alone feel like my life is going to get better and the next time around will be different. I've said this to myself for the past six years of my single life. I've had my ups and my downs but I always pick myself back up. But I always find it hard to believe that I will one day meet my prince charming because it seems like there's a lot more frogs than princes who surround me or find me or walk into my life unexpectedly. But hey, life isn't always a fairytale right? Sometimes it's a harrowing journey through a dark, scary forest where you have to slay the dragon or evil queen. But usually a happy ending comes out of it, it appears though that my epic life is taking a little too long to get to its happily ever after. C'est la vie! It is what it is. Whose life is perfect anyways?

Look on the bright side - 1. My friends and family are amazing and love me just as much as I love them. 2. I have a great job. 3. I live in sunny Florida where I can go to the beach or pool any day I want, even in the winter if I dare :) 4. My pets are cuddly and love me and don't care what I do or how I act or anything. 5. I am an awesome person, whose kind to others, whose loving and who loves life - at least that's how I feel. I honestly believe that you can't love someone else until you love yourself. It took me a while to really understand that, but I do, I honestly love myself, in every way shape or form.

But in lieu of my breaking up - even though he said it was a break I know that its a break up - I'm going to post a song that fits my mood perfectly. Stay happy and live life to the fullest.

 



LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE. DREAM. INSPIRE.  

 

 

Inner Turmoil

I'm torn between two ideas. The first being that you're too good to be true and that I shouldn't let you go. The second being that you're too good to be true and that's wrong. I usually find little things to nit pick at guys which leads to me being continuously single. I'm trying not to do that with you, but I'm finding it hard. Is there such thing as somebody being too nice? I never thought that could be true, but with you I feel like it is. You're too nice and it's annoying me. I honestly don't know why. I know that you are unlike any guy that I have ever dated, and yet I'm turned on and turned off by it at the same time. I'm trying to give you the benefit of the doubt because I know that I nit pick, and I don't want to be single forever. I do want a relationship. So I honestly need to take a chill pill and relax. I just don't know how to shut my brain off and stop thinking.


I wrote this above statement the other day, and after days of just living in the moment I realize you may not be too good to be true. You may just be exactly who I've been looking for. Someone to pull me out of this rut that I've been in, stuck in the past, rethinking regrets. I want to live in the present. In the here and now and right now the present is you.
I know I am closed off from my emotions, and that's because with each day and year and stupid guy I have put up wall after wall to protect myself from heartache. You said that you believe that I am a deep person and I said that I'm like an onion, I have many layers (yes, I totally quoted Shrek). If you are willing to peel off my layers one by one and break down my walls, I want to see where this adventure leads us.

Back to Life

I was craving attention
In the worst kind of way.
All alone I felt
For I had moved away,
From my friends and family
Of whom I held so dear.
Embarking on a new journey
Was a longtime goal and fear.
Making new friends would be easy, I thought.
Not trying to replace the old,
But new hang outs, new people were needed
To welcome me here.
To rid myself of my past.
Look forward to the future.
But friends were hard to come by
In this small town.
What acquaintances I had
Left me high and dry.
Missing my friends from the north
I yearned for companionship.
I had none,
And then there was you.
You walked into my life out of the blue.
I didn't know where you came from
I was lost and confused.
I didn't think you were real.
Happiness was back.
You lit up my world.
This was how life was supposed to be.
No questions
No games
Just you and I
Together laughing and holding hands.
It all looks so easy.
I've waited a lifetime for you.
Felt like eternity.
When I was down on my luck
About had enough
You stepped right in
You lifted me up.
You showed me how lucky I am :)

Fairytales are Real

The saying goes that "you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince." Well, I think I've found him. I've definitely kissed a lot of frogs, for sure. This guy is different though. I've only known him for a short time but I do feel the connection, happiness and bliss that leads up to the L word. I don't want to get my hopes up, but I'm beginning to see the silver lining and that all my past mistakes, betrayals and hardships are at an end and its finally time for my Happily Ever After.

Butterflies all over
What is this feeling taking over?
I've lost control of my emotions.
I don't think I've ever felt this way.
My world's flipped upside down.
Are you the prince I've been waiting for?
The one to take me far away
To a world I have only imagined.
A world of knights in shining armor
Saving princesses locked away in towers,
Fairy godmothers and animals who talk.
I've always known it was make believe
But dreamed a dream that one day
I too would have my happily ever after
With a prince fit just for me.
Is it really real?
Or a little girls fairytale?

Potential

I always do this, I always say I'm going to blog but never do. But I had an enlightening moment this weekend and decided that, "Yes, I am going to blog and I'm going to do it every day or every other day or whenever the feeling arises. Maybe I'll blog twice a day!" But anyways, I will keep my promise or you can stick a needle in my eye as the saying goes.
This weekend was beyond perfect. I recently moved to Jacksonville, Florida and am living with my parents and commuting an hour to and from work, which right now is not bad but not ideal either. Eventually I would like to get a place on the beach, but that won't be for another year at least because I need to SAVE SAVE SAVE!!!
So right now I'm kind of lacking on the friend front. All my friends are in Massachusetts and I've been feeling a little down in the dumps. A co-worker of mine asked me what kind of guys I was interested in - first let me tell you I have been single for about 5 years, so my love life is really lagging behind LOL - and I told her that I would like an attractive man who is nice, respectful and can make me laugh. Well, she set me up with a friend of hers whose single and only a couple years older than me. She also sent me pictures and so far so good ;). Then she asked if she could give him my number and I figured what did I have to lose so I told her yes. BEST DECISION EVER!!!
I've been hanging out with him since Thursday. He took me out to dinner and the beach. Pays me compliments. Treats me well. I don't want to get my hopes up, but I definitely had the best weekend and hope it continues. I'm not used to this kind of chivalry, because let's face it, I really thought chivalry was dead. I also have become really independent, so him paying for really expensive meals is making me a little apprehensive, but I deserve that kind of treatment and that's what he wants to do. I'm not some superficial shallow girl that is looking for a guy with money to take care of her, granted it would be nice to never have to work and be a housewife and take care of the kids, maybe write on the side, but it's not something that's important to me. What's important is an honest relationship built on love and if that's what this turns into I owe my coworker a HUGE thank you. This guy definitely has potential ;).

Thanksgiving Home Cooking

I'm becoming such a homebody these days (granted I still go out to bars and party with my friends). I crochet and am becoming a really good cook - well I think I am anyways LOL. All I need to do better is cleaning and I'll make my dog a really good housewife - mainly because I'm as single as they come and sometimes I'm ok with that :).
So for Thanksgiving, considering I'll be at work, my coworkers and I are going to celebrate together. Each of us will be bringing a dish in to share with everyone. For me, Thanksgiving means Portuguese stuffing, ham, and chourico and potatoes. My vavo used to make so much food and I can just taste it just thinking about it, but since she passed away, it was hard for my family to make all the yummy things she used to make because my vavo didn't use any cookbooks or recipes. It was always a pinch of this and a pinch of that. So for the past few years we've finagled the dishes she used to make and with each year it gets better and better.
I have given myself the task of making chourico and potatoes because I'm a big potato fan LOL. The only thing we knew involved in this dish was goya, chourico, potatoes, beer, tomato paste and crushed red pepper. The first year I made it I used what we knew my vavo to use and I asked my uncle's mother for her recipe and combined the two. I thought it was pretty good and I've been using that ever since, until today.  I didn't have any beer in my house so I used wine and no tomato paste - because the tomato paste was only used for color anyway and it always looked so messy. Using the wine I think worked out 10 times better than when I used the beer...I'm definitely using wine every year now because it tastes almost exactly like how my vavo used to make it - but of course it will never taste exactly like vavo's but it's still wicked delicious.

Here's the recipe if any of you want to try it out :)

preheat oven to 350degrees
cut up enough potatoes to fill the bottom of the roasting pan.
cut four chourico links and place on top of potatoes.
chop either a whole onion or a half an onion (depends on your own taste, I used a half onion this time around) and 3 garlic cloves (again to your own preference) and spread on top.
mix 6 packets of goya with 12 ozs of white wine (I used sauvignon blanc this time and I used 12 ozs because that's what a can of beer is...so I just switched it up) and pour over everything.
use wet crushed red pepper and pour a couple spoonfuls over everything.
sprinkle crushed red pepper flakes over everything.
bake for about an hour (my stove might be breaking because what usually took an hr took about 2 hrs for the potatoes to cook fully, so just keep checking)
ENJOY!!! :) Also, feel free to dip bread in the sauce...tastes wicked good!!!